So I'm going to go on a rant. I work for the biggest supplier of exercise equipment in the world. I box the replacement parts and send them to customers. About a year ago, we had the "pleasure" of getting a new boss. Excuse my language, but the only way to describe him is "deuce bag". He is not a good boss in my opinion. He came in and changed everything, from the way we box to the fact that we are not allowed to talk a lot. During the summers, we are exteremly slow so we try as hard as we can to find stuff to do so we can get full hours. With him in charge now, we've cleaned the parking lot numerous time. I'm serious: sweeping dirt in the parking lot!! Seriously, I would much rather waste my time at home! He says that he is trying to make our jobs easier, but in all reality they are more difficult with him around. A lot of times, I just keep my mouth shut because I know that my job lays in his hands. I am very grateful that I have a job, don't get me wrong. But my boss just gets to me in a way no one else has.
The biggest complaint I have about him is this: I have to work Saturday. Normally, I wouldn't really mind as overtime pay would be very helpful. But this weekend is just not good. I was supposed to go spend time with my Mom and roommate down in Central Utah. I was really excited about it because I don't get to spend a lot of time with my Mom, so this was something I was looking forward to. I came to work on Monday and found out we have to work on Saturday and it was mandatory. I was so livid! One of my coworkers and best friends has Friday off to spend the weekend with her family. Because of this boss, she is forced to give up time with her family and come back, which she is also not happy about. Throughout the past two days, multiple people have asked to be excused from Saturday. Shouldn't that say something?! Change the weekend!!!! Well, I went and talked to my supervisor (not the big boss) and basically pleaded to be off that day. Unfortunately, I was told that there was no way. I can't really be mad at this supervisor because it's not his fault. It's all up to the boss. The boss has the whole week off and therefore doesn't have to work Saturday. If I have to work, so do you! It's become such a huge mess with everyone being irritated with the boss. I finally just accepted that I won't get it off and asked for Monday off so I can go home. It really makes me mad, because it's his way or you have no job. The thing that really pissed me off is the fact that now I have to schedule off time to spend with my family! They're my family! That just seems so outrageous to me. I really just wish that I didn't need a job; he has made that place a living hell. I used to really enjoy my job and the people I work with. Not anymore. And of course, our opinions and concerns don't matter to him. I'm just very angry that I have to ask to be able to spend time with my Mom.
Okay, that rant is over. On Monday, I went to my doctor. He and I decided that we were going to increase my Zoloft. It has been wonderful at stabilizing my mood, but hasn't done much for the depression. I start the increased dosage tomorrow so hopefully I will know in a few weeks whether or not this works out. My doctor has been such a blessing for me; he has been so patient in answering my questions and telling me what to expect. I do feel like I've improved but not at the point where I want to be. I'm just hoping things will turn around.
My roommate and I went for a walk on Sunday, which isn't out of the ordinary. She and I started talking about how much more open we are with each other. I honestly never realized how grouchy I was a few months ago and how hard I was to be around. I'm very sorry for that; I think I just didn't know where to start to find out what's wrong with me. I am very grateful that she and I have been able to withstand this trial and become closer through it. She is such a great person and I'm so glad that she has never given up on me, even though I've given her many reasons to walk away.
That's pretty much it for now. I feel like I've said my piece about my boss, even though nothing will change. I'm just hoping that I am understood more about how I feel.
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